Dealing With Separation Anxiety In Lonely Dogs

Our dogs are pack animals. They’re highly sociable creatures with a genuine need to socialize and interact. Because we humans have done such a bang-up job in domesticating our canine friends, socialization with other dogs isn’t enough for your friend: you are the center of your dog’s world. She needs to spend time with you. Of course, this is sometimes easier said than done. Life, for most of us, is pretty busy, and at times it’s difficult to find genuine pleasure in performing the most basic of caretaking tasks for our dogs. When time is short, responsibility becomes a burden. It’s even worse when added responsibilities or increased demands on our time begin to detract from the quality of the time we do spend with our dogs. If other stresses are weighing heavily on your mind, everyday pleasures with your dog can morph from a joy into a headache – the half-hour walk after work is just one more thing to get through, rather than an opportunity for you both to unwind and spend some time together in mutual, tacit admiration of the natural world. Whether we like it or not, the lifestyles that we choose (to a certain extent, anyway) to put ourselves through – a general dearth of time, moderate to high stress levels, job anxiety, shifting personal commitments – affect our dogs as well as ourselves. Sensitive pooches can become so negatively impacted by the less-than-positive frame of mind held by their owners that they themselves become depressed and anxious. Other, more well-adjusted dogs suffer through isolation: when obligations are pressing, the twice-daily dog walk can be the easiest thing to relegate to the back of the line (your dog can hardly raise his voice in outrage, can he?).

Making time for our dogs isn’t always as easy as we would like it to be. But it doesn’t have to require a huge input of time or a Herculean amount of energy: there are ways that we can include our dogs in our lives without spending minutes and hours that we don’t have.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Bring her along with you.

When you’re running errands – picking up the mail, dropping children off to music lessons, soccer, and Little League, stopping by at work – your dog will jump at the chance to come along. Even if she stays in the car, the opportunity to get out of the house and enjoy a change of visual and olfactory scenery will be genuinely welcomed by her – and it’s a good way for the two of you to spend some casual one-on-one time together. If your errands involve other people (ferrying kids around, picking up a spouse, visiting a friend), accompanying you can go a long way towards meeting her social requirements for the day, too. (Tip: if you’re going for the Big Grocery Shop, or plan on doing something else that requires an extended absence from the car, best to leave her at home – any more than half an hour alone in the car is pushing the boundaries of responsible ownership for most dogs.)

2. Invite her into the bedroom.

You don’t have to ask her up on the bed with you; she can sleep on her own dog bed, either in the corner of the room (most dogs prefer to sleep with something at their backs) or next to your bed. This is a fantastic way of spending “down-time” with your dog (you’re both enjoying the same pastime in an undemanding way), and of increasing your bond, too. Dogs like to sleep with their pack (that’s you!). As pack animals, they’re hardwired to enjoy close contact with others during their most vulnerable hours. It reinforces their sense of togetherness and security. By allowing your dog into your bedroom at night, you’re fostering closeness with your friend. And it’s easy, too!

3. Spend time in mutually-enjoyable activities.

Walking the dog becomes a chore when it’s boring – if you’re enjoying yourself, you’ll be more likely to devote more time to it, which is good news for your dog, yourself, and your relationship with each other. Don’t feel like you have to limit yourself to the same old twenty-minute circuit round the park – break out and explore new territory. As much as dogs love to reinvestigate familiar turf, they appreciate new sights and sounds too, so try the riverbank, the dog beach, a different park, dog exercise yards (you get to chat with other owners, too, while your dog makes new friends), hill trails, or go for a walk downtown – with your friend on a leash, of course.

4. Perfect the art of multi-tasking.

Whenever I’m cooking dinner or reading a book, my Rottweiler plumps himself down about two feet away from my ankles and stares at me dolefully from under wrinkled, upslanted brows. This used to bother me: I could almost sense the waves of silent accusation wafting off him. “Why aren’t you playing with me?” I felt like he was asking. “How come whatever that is gets your attention when I don’t?” As much as I love him, I still feel that I’m entitled to my one or two chapters a night (and a well-cooked dinner); so I decided to counteract the tear-jerking expression on his face by learning to multi-task. So now, cooking time is also training time: I use the momentary hiatus in between stirrings and choppings to practice Sit and Down. Reading time has become read-and-cuddle time: we sprawl on the couch together, I get to relax and read my book, and he gets his tummy rubbed while he snoozes. If I had a TV, I’d use my TV-watching time for grooming time, too.

5. Counteract the “one-man dog” tendency.

If you live in a multi-person household, it makes things easier on you if you can share the responsibility around a bit. It’s healthier for your dog, too – the more she interacts with the people that she lives with, the better. You can share responsibilities like walking, playtime, feeding, and grooming: the more social stimulation your dog gets, the happier she’ll be. If you have children in the household, the amount of responsibility they get is really best decided on a case-by-case basis: some younger children are perfectly OK to walk the dog, but some can find the experience traumatic and scary (which makes it unsafe for the dog, too). As a general rule of thumb, before allowing a child out of doors and unsupervised with a dog, make sure you’re OK with how the dog and the child interact. The dog should obviously know that the child “ranks” above her in the social hierarchy of the household, and obey her commands reliably; the child should be able to handle herself confidently with the dog, and know the basic rules of dog-walking etiquette (leash-laws, poop-scooping, dog-on-dog social protocol, and so on).

Obviously, these tips aren’t intended as a substitute for that quality and quantity of time together that your dog lives for – and that makes life as a dog-owner so rewarding and fun, too. Your dog still needs to spend active, focused time with you, in training, playtime, general cuddling/manhandling, and exercise. But with a little forethought and effort, you can go a long way towards ensuring her emotional and psychological welfare without adding too much to your own workload.

For more information on responsible dog ownership, including detailed advice for handling and preventing problem behaviors, step-by-step how-to’s for obedience work and tricks, and an in-depth look at canine psychology and communication, check out Secrets to Dog Training. It’s the ultimate resource for dog owners! Visit the site by clicking here.
 


 

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Dog Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety is one of the most common problems that dogs develop. It’s an anxiety disorder, and is defined as a state of intense panic brought on by the dog’s isolation/separation from her owner(s). In other words: when you leave for work in the morning, your dog is plunged into a state of nervous anxiety which intensifies extremely quickly. Dogs are social animals – they need plenty of company and social interaction to keep them happy and content. No dog likes to be left alone for long stretches of time, but some dogs do a lot worse than others: these are the ones most prone to separation anxiety.

There are a number of contributing causes to the condition:

- Some breeds are genetically predisposed towards anxiety and insecurity, which is something you should consider when deciding which breed you’re going to go for (particularly if you’re going to be absent for long stretches of time). A few of these breeds include Weimaraners, Springer Spaniels, German Shepherds, and Airedales

- A significant proportion of dogs from shelters develop separation anxiety. Most of these ‘shelter dogs’ have undergone significant trauma in their lives – they’ve been abandoned by their previous owners – and thus they have little trust that their new-found owner (you) isn’t going to pull the same trick.

- Dogs that were separated from their mothers and siblings too early have been identified as being especially prone to separation anxiety. Puppies from pet-stores are a perfect example of this: they’re usually taken from their mothers well before the earliest possible age (which is 8 weeks), and confined to a small glass box in the petstore for anywhere between a few weeks to two months. This early weaning, coupled with the lack of exercise and affection while in the petstore, is psychologically traumatic for the dog.

- Neglect is the number-one cause of sepration anxiety for dogs. If you’re absent much more than you’re present in your dog’s life, separation anxiety is pretty much inevitable. Your dog needs your company, affection, and attention in order to be happy and content.

The symptoms of separation anxiety are pretty distinctive: your dog will usually learn to tell when you’re about to leave (she’ll hear keys jingling, will see you putting on your outdoor clothes, etc) and will become anxious. She may follow you from room to room, whining, trembling, and crying. Some dogs even become aggressive, in an attempt to stop their owners from leaving. When you’ve left, the anxious behavior will rapidly worsen and usually will peak within half an hour. She may bark incessantly, scratch and dig at windows and doors (an attempt to escape from confinement and reunite herself with you), chew inappropriate items, even urinate and defecate inside the house. In extreme cases, she might self-mutilate by licking or chewing her skin until it’s raw, or pulling out fur; or will engage in obsessive-compulsive behaviors, like spinning and tail-chasing. Upon your return, she’ll be excessively excited, and will leap around you in a frenzy of delight for a protracted period of time (more than the 30 seconds to one minute of a happy, well-balanced dog.) This extended greeting is a source of some misunderstanding: without realizing that such a greeting actually signifies the presence of a psychological disorder, some owners actually encourage their dog to get more and more worked up upon their return (by fuelling the dog’s excitement, encouraging her to leap around, paying her protracted attention, and so on.) If you’re behaving in this way with your dog, please stop. I know it’s tempting and very easy to do, and it seems harmless – after all, she’s so happy to see you, what harm can it do to return her attention and affection in equal measure? - but in actuality, you’re just validating her belief that your return is the high point of the day. So she’s as happy as Larry when you return – but, when it’s time for you to leave again, her now-exaggerated happiness at your presence is under threat, and she gets even more unhappy when you walk out that door. Fortunately, there are things you can do to minimize your dog’s tendency towards anxiety.

Here’s a short list of do’s and don’ts:

Do:

- Exercise the heck out of her. Really wear her out: the longer you expect to be away, the more exercise she should get before you leave. For example, if you’re leaving for work in the morning, she’ll probably be by herself for at least four hours; and, if you’ve got a dog-walker to take her out mid-day instead of coming back yourself, she won’t see you – the person she really cares about - for at least nine hours. So she needs a good, vigorous walk (fifteen to twenty minutes is the absolute minimum here!) before you walk out that door. More is even better.

- Distract her from her boredom, loneliness, and anxiety by giving her an attractive alternative to pining, pacing, and whining. All dogs love to chew – why not play on this predisposition? Get a couple of marrowbones from the butcher, bake them in the oven for 20 minutes (so they go nice and hard and crunchy – and so she can’t smear marrow all over your furniture), slice them up into chunks of a few inches long, and give her one about 15 minutes before you leave. It’ll keep her happy and occupied, and will act as a smokescreen for your departure.

- When you leave, put the radio on to a soothing station: classical music is ideal, but any station featuring lots of talk shows is also ideal. Keep the volume quite low, and it’ll calm her down a bit and give her the feeling that she’s got company.

- If at all possible, supply her with a view: if she can see the world going by, that’s the next best thing to being out and about in it.

- Acclimatize her to your leaving. Taking things nice and slowly, practice getting ready to go: jingle your keys about, put on your coat, and open the door. Then – without leaving! – sit back down and don’t go anywhere. Do this until she’s not reacting any more. When there’s no reaction, give her a treat and lavish praise for being so brave. Next, practice actually walking out the door (and returning immediately), again doing this until there’s no reaction. Gradually work up – gradually being the operative word here! – until you’re able to leave the house with no signs of stress from her.

Do not:

- Act overtly sympathetic when she’s crying. Although it sounds very cold-hearted, trying to soothe and comfort your dog by patting her and cooing over her is actually one of the worst things you can do: it’s essentially validating her concern. Make sure she can’t tell that you feel sorry for her: don’t ever say, “It’s OK, good girl” when she’s upset!

If you’re interested in getting a more detailed look at how to deal with your dog’s separation anxiety, you might like to check out Secrets to Dog Training. It’s a great learning tool for anyone who wants to learn how to deal constructively with their dog’s problem behaviors. All of the common behavioral problems are dealt with in detail, and there’s a great section on obedience commands and tricks too. You can visit the Secrets to Dog Training site by clicking here.
 


 

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